pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Randomize
