Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
