We won't sleep together?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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