if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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