you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
