I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
