I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I have tasted many bathrooms