After last night, I could never be a politician.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
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I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
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You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt