I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
