A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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