There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
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just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
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My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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