Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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