I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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