what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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