"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
