At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
