Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
