She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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