Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
