I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on