JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car