I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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