Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
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