but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
