How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
