Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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