As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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