Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
