this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
