I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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