He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
