What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
