I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
