THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
