You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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