He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
