im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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