a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
