I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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