I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
