One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
