We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.