So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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