new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize