I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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