Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
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And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
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Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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