After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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