I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
