Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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