The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
