We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
