Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I want to fling myself into the sun
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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