Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
operation harelip BJ is a go
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
