Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
