At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
