I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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