I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
