What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize