There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
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When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
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So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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