When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
